Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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