Are we in a gay sports bar?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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