I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
