mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
are you so shy because you have an std?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
