Whod you bang
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize