We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
pray to the hookup gods
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
