I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize