You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
