She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
