Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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