It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
