whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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