Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
