watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
