we have officially lost it.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
