I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
