New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
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