if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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