"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She announced her abortion via fbk
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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