That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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