Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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