so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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