I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
