If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just want nice things and good sex
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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