I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
well you can't waste a boner
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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