You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
