But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
