my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
