Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Watching her eat just hurts me
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize