went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize