Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
