I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
