no, he came in my armpit
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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