Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Send help, water and tortillas.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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