literally had 100 drinks last night.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
