therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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