okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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