i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Randomize