The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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