Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
