well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
