Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize