Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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