No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
