What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize