When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
