i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize