He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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