More tranny stories later!
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
