i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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