Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
