Soap is not a condiment
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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