It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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